


we flock together like birds of a feather

by KaiderBaiders



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Foster Care, Group chat, Humor, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Marching Band, Multi, Peter and Ned are Good Bros™, Sorry Not Sorry, Stan Lee Cameo, THATS AN ACTUAL TAG HOLY SHIT, Texting, Updating tags as I go, chat fic, theyre all suffering
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-04
Updated: 2019-05-08
Packaged: 2019-08-17 10:21:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,036
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16514516
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KaiderBaiders/pseuds/KaiderBaiders
Summary: Bruce: but seriously what am i doing herebird: yeha me to whats going onTheBest™: oh bruce you werent here todayscaryrussianlady: Clint this is what you get for sleeping the entire class periodbird: fuk off nat give me a break ms hill is so fucking monotone its like she wants us to sleeppoptartbitch: We have a group project! It is due next month.Bruce: oh great. fantasitc. im so excitement.TheBest™: brucie stfu you love us.TheBest™: well at least me. thats gotta be something._____the groupchat fic that no one asked for but you received it anyway. i regret nothing lmao





	1. tony is a child

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote this instead of doing my homework

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the beginning, clint and bruce, and two gays in love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there! so this is my first group chat fic and im honestly really excited about it! i will give updates about background info thats not in the chapter explicitly, and theyll probably be at the end of the chapter.
> 
> This is not edited!! All mistakes are mine!
> 
> Happy reading!

**_Untitled Group Chat:_ **

_Wednesday, 4:06pm_

**Tony Stark added Bruce Banner**

**Tony Stark added Steve Rogers**

**Tony Stark added Natasha Romanov**

**Tony Stark added Clint Barton**

**Tony Stark added Thor Odinson**

**Tony Stark set their own name to TheBest™**

**TheBest™ set Steve Roger’s name to americasuxlmao**

**TheBest™set Thor Odinson’s name to poptartbitch**

**TheBest™ set Natasha Romanov’s name to scaryrussianlady**

**TheBest™ set the group chat name to s q u a d**

**americasuxlmao:** wow real mature Tony

 

 **TheBest™:** but im right tho

 

 **poptartbitch:** STARK WHAT THE FUCK THAT WAS ONE TIME

 

 **TheBest™:** I KNOW ALDKJSF IT WAS GREAT

 

 **Bruce Banner:** why in the heck am i here

 

**scaryrussianlady set Clint Barton’s name to bird**

 

 **bird:** nat what the actual shit

 

 **TheBest™:** HAHAHA

 

**Bruce Banner set their own name to Bruce**

 

**americasuxlmao set their own name to Steve**

 

 **TheBest™:** you guys are so creative youre killing me

 

**TheBest™ set Steve’s name to americasuxlmao**

 

**americasuxlmao set their own name to Steve**

 

**TheBest™ set Steve’s name to americasuxlmao**

 

**americasuxlmao set their own name to Steve**

 

**TheBest™ set Steve’s name to americasuxlmao**

 

 **americasuxlmao:** oh I give up.

 

 **Bruce:** gUYS STOP IT

 

 **Bruce:** but seriously what am i doing here

 

 **bird:** yeha me to whats going on

 

 **TheBest™:** oh bruce you werent here today

 

 **scaryrussianlady:** Clint this is what you get for sleeping the entire class period

 

 **bird:** fuk off nat give me a break ms hill is so fucking monotone its like she wants us to sleep

 

 **poptartbitch:** We have a group project! It is due next month.

 

 **Bruce:** oh great. fantasitc. im so excitement.

 

 **TheBest™:** brucie stfu you love us.

 

 **TheBest™:** well at least me. thats gotta be something.

 

 **scaryrussianlady:** when are we meeting up to research and shit

 

 **TheBest™:** we can meet at my house. my parents literally dont give a shit.

 

 **TheBest™:** Friday after school?

 

 **Bruce:** cant, football game. the band director will literally hold a vendetta against anyone who misses a game unless you or your mother is dying.

 

 **poptartbitch:** Same for me and Steven; Coach Rasputin has a very strict attendance policy

 

 **americasuxlmao:** full offense, but colossus can suck my ass

 

 **bird:** LMAOOOOOOO

 

 **scaryrussianlady:** watch your fucking mouth grandpa

 

 **TheBest™:** yeah gramps there are children in this chat

 

 **americasuxlmao:** Who???

 

 **scaryrussianlady:** Clint

 

 **TheBest™:** me, im the baby steve

 

 **bird:** DONT DRAG ME INTO THIS

 

 **Bruce:** ANYWAYS when are we meeting up

 

 **TheBest™:** well we gotta do it soon, so maybe saturday?

 

 **Bruce:** ill be a fucking zombie from the game but that works

 

 **scaryrussianlady:** I need to run it by my parents

 

 **poptartbitch:** I can do Saturday!

 

 **americasuxlmao:** I have something saturday, but I can work around it

 

 **bird:** i’ll have to ask my foster parents, but it should be good

 

 **TheBest™:** that was easier than i thought it was gonna be lmao

 

 **TheBest™:** I’LL SEE YOU ON SAT AT NOON I’LL PROVIDE FOOD ITLL BE LIIITTTTT

 

 **Bruce:** oh god

 

_______________

 

**_Untitled Group Chat:_ **

_Wednesday, 6:23pm_

 

**Bruce Banner added Clint Barton**

**Bruce:** this might be a bit personal, but can i ask you a question?

 

 **Bruce:** you can say no i’m just a nosy person lmao

 

 **Clint:** no its fine! i like questions! whats up?

 

 **Bruce:** so you said that you have foster parents

 

 **Clint:** yeah

 

 **Clint:** so?

 

 **Bruce:** no no no i’m not trying to be offensive!

 

 **Bruce:** i’m in the system too

 

 **Bruce:** i was just wondering what your story is

 

 **Bruce:** cause we all got stuck in the system for a reason, and I was just wondering what yours was

 

 **Bruce:** you dont have to answer if its too personal i understand that

 

 **Clint:** i grew up in the circus, my dad put my brother and i in the care of this really weird dude that was basically the ringmaster. mainly cause he wanted to ‘live his own life’ or whatever. i havent spoken to him in years, so like idk whats up with him. my brother is older than me, and he only talks to me like once a year. and idek who my mom is.

 

 **Bruce:** yikes

 

 **Bruce:** i watched my dad kill my mom. i was 8. he would beat us, and it got really bad. finally she tried to run away with me, and my dad caught us, and he smashed her head onto the pavement. he told me not to tell anyone cause i would get into a lot of trouble if i told anyone. the jury at the trial said that he was innocent because there wasnt enough evidence. couple of years later, the neighbors saw him beating me and he was arrested. havent seen him since then

 

 **Clint:** double yikes

 

 **Clint:** well, us in the system gotta stick together, yeah?

 

 **Bruce:** yeah

 

 **Bruce:** well this was an emotional journey. im gonna sleep for the next 6 years.

 

 **Clint:** lmao mood

 

 **Clint:** night bruce

 

 **Bruce:** night clint

 

_______________

 

**_its free real estate:_ **

_Wednesday, 7:48pm_

 

_Steve Rogers: ohcaptainmycaptain_

_Bucky Barnes: buckarooooooo_

 

 **ohcaptainmycaptain:** hey i think we’re gonna have to reschedule our date for saturday

 

 **buckarooooooo:** why

 

 **ohcaptainmycaptain:** i have a group project in hill’s class, and the only time everyone was available to do research was on saturday

 

 **buckarooooooo:** :(

 

 **ohcaptainmycaptain:** i know :(

 

 **ohcaptainmycaptain:** ill make it up to you, promise <3

 

 **buckarooooooo:** you fucking better

 

 **buckarooooooo:** punk

 

 **ohcaptainmycaptain:** jerk

 

 **ohcaptainmycaptain:** i love you

  
**buckarooooooo:** i love you too

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so yeah
> 
> that got intense
> 
> bruce and clint dont really know how to talk about their feelings so they try to joke around and not take it seriously cause yeah
> 
> so bucky and steve have been friends since they were like 6 but didn't start dating until about a year before this takes place. all of the og avengers know each other, theyve just never talked all together at once. like clint and nat are already friends, so are tony and steve, steve and thor, and tony and bruce. otherwise they just know of each other from their class and other classes and such
> 
> i hope you guys enjoyed!!


	2. Clarinet Bitch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> enter peter, marching band, jason derulo, and other schemes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this isnt edited, so im sorry for any mistakes!
> 
> kudos and comments are always appreciated!
> 
> Happy reading!!

**_Welcome to Best Buy_ **

_Thursday, 6:32am_

 

_Bruce Banner: Squidward_

_Peter Parker: sOuSaPhOnE_

 

 **Squidward:** where are you

 

 **Squidward:** both mr. lee and wade noticed you’re not here

 

_6:45am_

 

 **Squidward:** peter?

 

_7:28am_

 

 **sOuSaPhOnE:** FUK

 

 **sOuSaPhOnE:** ummmmm

 

 **sOuSaPhOnE:** so

 

 **sOuSaPhOnE:** about that

 

 **Squidward:** you overslept again, didnt you?

 

 **sOuSaPhOnE:** yeah

 

 **Squidward:** just get to school on time, yeah?

 

 **sOuSaPhOnE:** i can literally hear you sighing in disappointment over text

 

 **sOuSaPhOnE:** but yeah, i will

 

______

 

**_Like Father Like Son_ **

_Thursday, 7:31 am_

 

_Tony Stark: Dad of the Year_

_Peter Parker: bugboy_

 

 **bugboy:** hey tony

 

 **bugboy:** can you pls come pick me up??

 

 **bugboy:** aunt may already left for work and i missed the bus cause i overslept =,(

 

 **Dad of the Year:** yeah sure. be there in 10

 

 **bugboy:** THANK YOU I OWE YOU MY LIFE

 

 **Dad of the Year:** i’ve seen it, im not interested

 

 **bugboy:** HOW DARE YOU

 

 **bugboy:** but you right lmao

 

 **bugboy:** i’ll name my firstborn after you??

 

 **Dad of the Year:** better

 

_7:43am_

 

 **Dad of the Year:** get in loser we’re going shopping

 

 **bugboy:** wait are we really??

 

 **Dad of the Year:** peter im literally picking you up for school

 

 **bugboy:** damn it was worth a try

 

_______________

 

**_The Golden Trio_ **

_Thursday, 8:05am_

 

_Peter Parker: Beter_

_Ned Leeds: dArTh vAdEr_

_Michelle Jones: Literal Goddess_

 

 **dArTh vAdEr:** where were you at band??

 

 **dArTh vAdEr:** wade was literally about to explode

 

 **Beter:** well

 

 **Beter:** heres the thing

 

 **Literal Goddess:** You overslept and had to run to school?

 

 **Beter:** mj let me tell my story w/out interruptions thank you

 

 **Beter:** but yeah i overslept

 

 **Beter:** but i didnt have to run, tony gave me a ride to school

 

 **dArTh vAdEr:** the fact that youre friends with tony stark still blows my mind everyday

 

 **Literal Goddess:** Peter, you’ve been missing a lot of practices lately. Are you okay?

 

 **Beter:** you arent even in band

 

 **Literal Goddess:** We’re just worried about you

 

 **dArTh vAdEr:** you dont miss practice, the last time you missed practice was last year

 

 **Beter:** that was legit tho. that was when ben died

 

 **Literal Goddess:** We’re not saying that’s not a real excuse, we just want to know if you’re doing okay

 

 **Beter:** yes mom im fine

 

 **Beter:** i think

 

 **Beter:** ive been super stressed lately, idk why. I just dont think im getting enough sleep

 

 **Beter:** thank you guys for checking up on me tho

 

 **Literal Goddess:** Of course

 

 **dArTh vAdEr:** love you man

 

_______

 

**_s q u a d_ **

_Thursday, 8:42am_

 

_Tony Stark: TheBest™_

_Steve Rogers: americasuxlmao_

_Thor Odinson: poptartbitch_

_Natasha Romanov: scaryrussianlady_

_Clint Barton: bird_

_Bruce Banner: Bruce_

 

**TheBest™ set Bruce’s name to Clarinet Bitch**

 

 **Clarinet Bitch:** why

 

 **TheBest™:** because

 

 **TheBest™:** [brucie.wmv]

 

 **Clarinet Bitch:** WHERE THE FUKC DID YOU FIND THAT

 

 **Clarinet Bitch:** STARK

 

 **TheBest™:** HAHAHAHAH

 

 **bird:** bruce this is the best alskdjf

 

 **americasuxlmao:** wait im in class, what does it say. i can only see the visual

 

 **TheBest™:** its bruce playing wiggle by jason derulo on the clarinet

 

 **TheBest™:** its such a meme lmao

 

 **bird:** jAsOn DeRuLo

 

 **scaryrussianlady:** is that wade wilson twerking in the background

 

 **scaryrussianlady:** it IS

 

 **Clarinet Bitch:** TONY WHERE DID YOU FIND THAT

 

 **TheBest™:** Peter showed it to me on the way to school lmao

 

 **Clarinet Bitch:** that SNITCH

 

 **Clarinet Bitch:** im gonna piss on his grave when he dies

 

 **americasuxlmao:** well thats aggressive

 

 **Clarinet Bitch:** leave me and my anger issues alone

 

 **scaryrussianlady:** how do you know wilson in the first place

 

 **Clarinet Bitch:** hes the sousaphone section leader

 

 **Clarinet Bitch:** we had a band council meeting and there were like five of us who got there early and we were dicking around lmao

 

 **Clarinet Bitch:** but now theres /evidence/

 

 **TheBest™:** oof someones gonna die tonight

 

 **TheBest™:** i hope its me tbh

 

**Clarinet Bitch set TheBest™’s name to Tony Stank**

 

 **Tony Stank:** BRUCE

 

 **Clarinet Bitch:** AH HOW THE TABLES HAVE TABLED

 

 **Tony Stank:** YOU SWORE YOU WOULD NEVER SPEAK OF THAT AGAIN

 

 **Clarinet Bitch:** THAT WAS UNTIL YOU BETRAYED ME

 

 **Tony Stank:** FUCK OFF

 

 **bird:** STOP FIGHTING YOURE TEARING THIS FAMILY APART

 

 **scaryrussianlady:** you all act like children

 

 **americasuxlmao:**  this group project is gonne be gr8

 

 **americasuxlmao:** cant wait

 

_9:42am_

  
**poptartbitch:** I leave you guys alone for an hour and seriously what the fuck

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so yeah
> 
> i dont think theres enough marching band aus so here ya go
> 
> bruce plays the clarinet, and hes the clarinet section leader. peter plays sousophone, so does wade, and wade is section leader. ned is in band, but idk what instrument i want him to play yet. maybe baritone? idk
> 
> ALSO i based the video of bruce on this video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UOX04Kidb-8  
> its such a meme i love it
> 
> if you want to yell at me on twitter(stebe_rxgers) or on tumblr(stebe-rxgers), you can. i dont have any friends lmao


	3. Chickens

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> tony is a terrible father, chickens, and thor/bruce!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay so first of all, happy thanksgiving! i hope you guys had a great one! also theres like over 800 hits on this fic and im screaming omfg thank you guys so much for reading my dumbass fic!!
> 
> this has not been edited, so all mistakes are mine
> 
> happy reading!!

**_s q u a d_ **

_Thursday, 12:03pm_

 

_Tony Stark: Tony Stank_

_Steve Rogers: americasuxlmao_

_Thor Odinson: poptartbitch_

_Natasha Romanov: scaryrussianlady_

_Clint Barton: bird_

_Bruce Banner: Clarinet Bitch_

**poptartbitch set his own name to Queen**

 

 **Tony Stank:** mood

 

 **Tony Stank:** yo who has second lunch cause im gonna bribe peter into drinking this

 

 **Tony Stank:** [disgusting.png]

 

 **americasuxlmao:** who allowed you to be in charge of that small child

 

 **americasuxlmao:** you are a terrible father

 

 **bird:** what in the fresh HECK did you put in that

 

 **bird:** do i need to come save him

 

 **bird:** because i will

 

 **Tony Stank:** chocolate milk, fruit punch, goldfish, the chicken(?) from lunch, a couple of fries, and maybe an m&m?

 

 **Tony Stank:** maybe

 

 **scaryrussianlady:** do i need to save my spider child. You better not make him do anything stark

 

 **Tony Stank:** relax, im not making him do anything

 

 **Tony Stank:** he's doing it to himself

 

 **Tony Stank:** i just said ‘i bet you ten bucks that you cant drink it’

 

 **Queen:** I have to admit, I admire Peter’s bravery

 

 **bird:** thor dont encourage him

 

 **Clarinet Bitch:** tony,  peter will do anything for ten dollars

 

 **Tony Stank:** I KNOW

 

 **scaryrussianlady:** If you harm my child, I swear I’ll kill you.

 

 **Tony Stank:** oooh proper grammar!!

 

 **bird:** she’ll do it, im like 90% sure she has a dead body buried in her backyard

 

 **scaryrussianlady:** clint the whole point of me telling you anything is that you dont tell anyone

 

 **bird:** BUT I WAS DEFENDING YOUR HONOR

 

 **scaryrussianlady:** STILL

 

 **Tony Stank:** he’s my child too! You dont get full control over him

 

 **americasuxlmao:** does everyone have partial custody over peter at this point

 

 **Clarinet Bitch:** have you met him? that kid is so smart but he will jump off a building if you tell him to

 

 **americasuxlmao:** i want in

 

 **americasuxlmao:** he needs a good influence in his life

 

 **Tony Stank:** excuse me I AM A GREAT INFLUENCE

 

 **Tony Stank:** and steve you would be a terrible influence on peter. you cant follow the rules for shit

______

 

**_Spooder Pals_ **

_Thursday, 12:07pm_

 

_Natasha Romanov: SpiderMom_

_Peter Parker: SpiderSon_

 

 **SpiderMom:** peter have you drinken that horror yet

 

 **SpiderSon:** nah not yet. tony wants to record it

 

 **SpiderMom:** I’ll give you twenty bucks to throw it away right now

 

 **SpiderSon:** DEAL

 

______

 

**_s q u a d_ **

_Thursday, 12:09pm_

 

_Tony Stark: Tony Stank_

_Steve Rogers: americasuxlmao_

_Thor Odinson: Queen_

_Natasha Romanov: scaryrussianlady_

_Clint Barton: bird_

_Bruce Banner: Clarinet Bitch_

 

 **Tony Stank:** NAT WHAT THE FUCK

 

 **Tony Stank:** THATS NOT FAIR

 

 **scaryrussianlady:** HA EAT A DICK STARK

 

 **scaryrussianlady:** PETER LIKES ME BETTER

 

 **Tony Stank:** NOT TRUE

 

 **americasuxlmao:** whoa what happened

 

 **Tony Stank:** NAT OUTBRIBED ME

 

 **scaryrussianlady:** I told peter to throw it away

 

 **scaryrussianlady:** and he listened

 

 **Tony Stank:** SHE B R I B E D HIM

 

 **scaryrussianlady:** So did you

 

 **scaryrussianlady:** Sit your ass down

 

 **bird:** are you guys done fighting cause i haVE NEWS

 

 **Tony Stank:** OOOH is it gossip

 

 **Tony Stank:** cause im always a slut for gossip

 

 **americasuxlmao:** tony most of the gossip at this school is about you

 

 **Tony Stank:** thats why its great steve

 

 **bird:** ANY WAY

 

 **bird:** drumroll please!

 

 **Clarinet Bitch:** no

 

 **bird:** I GOTTA DATE TOMORROW

 

 **scaryrussianlady:** is it the girl you’ve been pining over since 7th grade

 

 **bird:** nat you dont need to call me out like that

 

 **bird:** but yes thats her

 

 **scaryrussianlady:** FINALLY. I DONT HAVE TO HEAR YOU PINE FROM A DISTANCE ANYMORE

 

 **bird:** HEY

 

 **Tony Stank:** WHATS HER NAME HOW YOU ASK HER OUT GIVE US THE /DETAILS/ CLINT

 

 **bird:** her name is laura and shes absolutly BEAUTIFUL

 

 **bird:** shes a literal angel

 

 **bird:** so story time

 

 **bird:** my math class got new seats today and we’re sitting next to each other

 

 **bird:** how that happened idk the fates must be on my side

 

 **bird:** anyway i noticed she had a scratch on her arm and i was like ‘you have a cat?’ cause im smooth like that

 

 **bird:** and she was like ‘no my chicken was being a little shit’

 

 **bird:** and i was like ‘HOLY FUCK I HAVE CHICKENS’

 

 **bird:** so we bonded over chickens and shes coming over to my place tomorrow to see my chickens

 

 **Tony Stank:** that was one of the weirdest things i have ever heard lmao

 

 **americasuxlmao:** clint why do you have chickens

 

 **americasuxlmao:** and why does laura have chickens

 

 **bird:** my foster family lives on a farm, so i’m literally surrounded by animals lol

 

 **bird:** and idk why she has chickens but I DONT CARE I LOVE IT

 

 **Clarinet Bitch:** we’re proud of you clint

 

_____

 

**_its free real estate:_ **

_Thursday, 12:23pm_

 

_Steve Rogers: ohcaptainmycaptain_

_Bucky Barnes: buckarooooooo_

 

 **ohcaptainmycaptain:** buck

 

 **ohcaptainmycaptain:** bucky

 

 **ohcaptainmycaptain:** the love of my life

 

 **ohcaptainmycaptain:** help me

 

 **buckarooooooo:** dude i can’t its your group project you dummy

 

 **ohcaptainmycaptain:** i know

 

 **ohcaptainmycaptain:** but stillllllll

 

 **buckarooooooo:** stevie whats so bad about it

 

 **ohcaptainmycaptain:** i just

 

 **ohcaptainmycaptain:** idk

 

 **ohcaptainmycaptain:** i feel like i dont fit in with them

 

 **ohcaptainmycaptain:** its stupid

 

 **buckarooooooo:** steve thats not stupid and you know it

 

 **buckarooooooo:** you guys literally just started texting yesterday

 

 **buckarooooooo:** its hard to connect to someone over text, wait until you meet them in person, youre gonna be fine stevie

 

 **ohcaptainmycaptain:** fine

 

 **buckarooooooo:** atta tiger

 

 **ohcaptainmycaptain:** never say that again

 

 **buckarooooooo:** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 

 **ohcaptainmycaptain:** oh my god

 

________

 

**_Untitled Group Chat_ **

_Thursday, 2:26pm_

 

**Thor Odinson added Bruce Banner**

 

 **Thor:** Hey Bruce

 

 **Bruce:** hey thor, whats up?

 

 **Thor:** I have a question for you. Its personal, so it you don’t want to answer then it’s okay!

 

 **Bruce:** shoot

 

 **Thor:** Do you really have anger issues? Because you said that you did when talking to Steve, but I couldn’t tell if it was a joke or not.

 

 **Thor:** My sister has anger issues, and I’ve helped her through it, and I was wondering if I could help!

 

 **Bruce:** oh

 

 **Bruce:** well

 

 **Bruce:** thats so sweet thor. thank you, no ones ever done that for me before

 

 **Bruce:** umm i do have anger managment issues. i was abused as a kid, and it definitely didnt lead to a good outcome lol. i have a therapist, but she doesn’t really help.

 

 **Thor:** Well, then I hope I can help, my friend!

 

**Thor Odinson set the group name to Thruce**

 

 **Bruce:** what does that mean

 

 **Thor:** It’s our names smashed together! We’re a team now! Also, it sounds like a weird spice and I had to share it with you

 

 **Bruce:** haha

 

 **Bruce:** thank you thor

 

 **Thor:** Of course.

 

_______

 

**_Science Bros_ **

_Thursday, 2:58pm_

 

_Tony Stark: whole(some) milk_

_Bruce Banner: buttermilk_

 

 **buttermilk:** okay so you know how i said like a month ago that i had a crush on thor

 

 **whole(some) milk:** weird way to start a conversation, but yes i do

 

 **buttermilk:** well

 

 **buttermilk:** [screenshot.png]

 

 **buttermilk:** hes so sweet?? its like he's from another planet

 

 **buttermilk:** whats going on

 

 **whole(some) milk:** GET THAT DICK BRUCIE

 

 **buttermilk:** N O

 

 **buttermilk:** i had a panic attack while we were talking so i want to curl up into a ball and cry but hes so sweet and i wanna scream? like how did i get here

 

 **whole(some) milk:** go home, get some rest, and then we can talk guys later

 

 **whole(some) milk:** my advice still stands

  
**buttermilk:** s t o p

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i have not been using proper grammar this entire time, so writing thor's texts were a struggle lmao
> 
> i hope you guys enjoyed! if you have any ideas on this fic, let me know on my twitter(stebe_rxgers) or on tumblr(stebe-rxgers) cause if you cant tell i dont have a plan lmao.


	4. homeowkr

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> katy perry, tony's drunk shenanigans, heathers the musical, and boytoys

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for not updating sooner! I had finals, and then I went on vacation, and I had no time to write. I had planned or this chapter to be a lot longer, but it ended up being super super long, so I cut it down. The rest of it will be put in the next chapter.
> 
> this has not been edited, so all mistakes are mine
> 
> Happy reading!!

**_s q u a d_ **

_Friday, 1:07am_

 

_Tony Stark: Tony Stank_

_Steve Rogers: americasuxlmao_

_Thor Odinson: Queen_

_Natasha Romanov: scaryrussianlady_

_Clint Barton: bird_

_Bruce Banner: Clarinet Bitch_

 

 **Tony Stank:** BON APPETIT BABY

 

 **Tony Stank:** APPTITEE FOR SUDECGIONF

 

 **Tony Stank:** JFREH OT OF TEH OVENNNNNN

 

 **americasuxlmao:** tony what the fuck

 

 **Tony Stank:** LEME FINNIDH

 

 **Tony Stank:** NELT IN YOURNMOYTH KINDSA LOVUNG

 

 **Tony Stank:** BONE APPLE TEETH BABBYYYYY

 

 **bird:** beautiful

 

 **americasuxlmao:** tony what are you doing up this late

 

 **Tony Stank:** I COUD ASKE YOU TEH SAME THINGF

 

 **americasuxlmao:** stop yelling

 

 **Tony Stank:** dine

 

 **Tony Stank:** fine

 

 **Clarinet Bitch:** tony are you drunk

 

 **Tony Stank:** nooooooooooo

 

________

 

**_BOOM BITCH:_ **

_Friday, 1:10am_

 

_Tony Stark: IronMaiden_

_Steve Rogers: Stebe_

 

 **Stebe:** where are you

 

 **IronMaiden:** dmn we swithed chsts why we whidperin

 

 **Stebe:** where are you

 

 **IronMaiden:** in teh void

 

 **Stebe:** call me

 

 **IronMaiden:** stev im fiiinnnneee

 

***Incoming call* Steve Rogers - > Tony Stark**

 

“Hey Steeeevvvveeee,”

 

“Tony where are you?”

 

“It’s fiiiiine, Steve,”

 

“Are you home?”

 

“....”

 

“Tony?”

 

“... No,”

 

(sigh) “Tony, where are you?”

 

“I’m at the park,”

 

“Why the hell are you at the park at one in the morning?”

 

“Wellll, I _was_ at Rhodey’s place, being responsible and stuff, but his mom checked up on us and saw us, and she kicked me out.”

 

(door slams and keys jingle)

 

“She started yelling at him, and called me a bad influence. She was ranting about how I was lucky she wasn’t calling the cops and then she kicked me out and took Rhodey’s phone away. I think he’s grounded. She doesn’t like me very much. Most people don’t like me very much”

 

“Tony you know that’s not true. Look, I’ll come pick you up, okay? Just stay at the park” (car engine starts)

 

“Steeevvvveee you don’t have to come get me. I’ll be fiiinneee. I can just...sleep in a tree or something”

 

“Tony, I’ll see you in five minutes. You’re at Acoma park, right?”

 

“...Yeah”

 

“Stay where you are, okay?”

 

“Okay”

 

(end call)

 

_______

 

Steve swore as he drove out of the driveway. Luckily, his mother was working night shift at the hospital, so he didn’t have to explain to her why he was leaving in such a hurry.

 

 _Damn it, Tony._ Steve sped down the neighborhood street, praying that there were no cops in the general area. The park wasn’t too far from his house; how Tony ended up there, the world may never know.

 

Steve pulled up to the park, and he saw Tony sitting on one of the swings. His head was down, and he was fidgeting with his hands. Steve sighed as he got out of his car and started to slightly jog to get to Tony.

 

“Hey, Tones,” Steve said quietly, as not to startle the other man. Tony lifted up his head slightly in acknowledgement, but otherwise remained silent. He could tell that Tony had sobered up a little bit; typically when he gets drunk, Tony is bouncing off the walls with energy. Steve sat on the swing next him, and the pair sat in silence for a few minutes before Tony broke the silence.

 

“I ruin everything,”

 

Steve furrowed his brows, his confusion prominent. “What’d ya mean, Tony?”

 

Tony sniffled, and he turned to Steve could finally see his face. His eyes were red, like he was crying. He leaned his face against the chain of the swing as he spoke.

 

“I ruin everything. I got Rhodey in trouble. I hurt Pepper; I can’t keep a relationship for shit. My friends all hate me. And my parents… my dad. He-” Tony stopped mid-sentence, and he looked like he was about to break. Steve tried not to show any of the pity that he felt; he knew that Tony hated it.

 

“You don’t have to tell me, Tones,” Steve said. “But guess what,” He got up off the swing and kneeled in front of Tony. “You have so many people that care about you. You’ve got me, you’ve got Bruce and Peter and Rhodey. You’re not alone, Tony. It don’t matter what other people say. You have a few good friends, really good friends,”

 

He paused for a moment, to see if Tony was listening, and he was. Tony was hanging on to every word Steve said, as if his life depended on it. Steve let out another sigh as he put his hand on Tony’s shoulder. “Tony, you’re one of my _best_ friends, and I hope you consider me that as well. It don’t matter what your family thinks. Focus on your friends, okay? Can you do that for me?”

 

Tony nodded slightly and suddenly rushed forward and hugged Steve as tightly as he could. Steve grunted at the weight, but he returned the hug just as tightly. The position was slightly awkward, and Steve was on the balls of his feet trying to balance the both of them, but he knew Tony needed it.

 

After a few minutes, Steve stood up with Tony in tow, and lead him to his car. Tony was slightly wobbly, which worried Steve. Tony could probably give a lecture on the atom bomb when he’s drunk, and not even look it. If he can’t even walk straight, then he’s probably drank more than what was safe. He quickly got Tony in the passenger seat; Steve was glad Tony was safe, but he just wanted to go back to sleep.

 

As Steve climbed into the car, his phone chimed, saying that he received a text. He had left it in the cupholder, so Tony grabbed swiped it before Steve could even react. He squinted at the screen, and said “Bruce? I think that’s Bruce. I can’t remember.”

 

Steve turned the car on and grabbed his phone from Tony. It was, in fact, a text from Bruce.

 

_1:37am_

 

 **Clarinet Bitch:** you guys okay? You both kinda just disappeared

 

Steve rubbed his eyes, trying to blink away how tired he was. The adrenaline from the original situation wore off. He’s glad that his house is close, so him driving wouldn’t be that dangerous.

 

 **americasuxlmao:** yeah, we’re fine. i’ve got tony with me. he was at the park

 

 **americasuxlmao:** night guys

 

Steve put his phone back in the cupholder and drove towards his house. Out of the corner of his eye, he could tell Tony was on edge. Steve could clearly detect the steely edge in his voice when the other man spoke, “So, where we going?”

 

It was a simple question, but Tony’s tone made the meaning anything but simple.

 

“We’re going to my place,” Steve responded, “then I’ll take ya to school tomorrow.”

 

“But I don’t have any clothes,” Tony whined, “Or my backpack, or my car to drive to school,”

 

“You can borrow some of mine. Unless we want to make a pitstop at your place before school?”

 

Tony paled, and said, “Nah, I can live,”

 

Steve raised his eyebrow at the statement, but didn’t push Tony to answer.

 

Tony sighed and leaned his head against the window. “My parents are leaving tomorrow for some kind of press conference or something. They don’t leave until after school starts, though. Howard, he… he said some stuff tonight, and I was already not having a great day. I just-” he paused, “I just needed a drink,”

 

Steve kept his mouth shut, a lecture ready to burst, but thought better of it.

 

______

 

**_Lunch Squad:_ **

_Friday, 8:14am_

 

_Steve Rogers: Stove_

_Bucky Barnes: Bonky_

_Riley Kingsley: Roly_

_Sam Wilson: Som_

 

 **Som:** hey bucky did you do the homeowkr for strucker

 

 **Bonky:** no i didn’t do the homeowkr

 

 **Bonky:** i also did not do the homework

 

 **Som:** man shut the hell up

 

 **Roly:** sam why the hell did you not do the homeowkr

 

 **Stove:** yeah sam what the fuck thats so irresponsible. Not doing the homeowkr

 

 **Som:** i hate all of you

 

 **Som:** youre all uninvited to my birthday party

 

 **Roly:** but babbbyyyy :(

 

 **Som:** fine youre re-invited

 

 **Roly:** :))))))

 

 **Bonky:** eww miss me with that gay shit

 

 **Stove:** buck you literally kissed me this morning

 

 **Bonky:** oh yeah

 

 **Som:** well did anyone do the homework?

 

 **Roly:** i did but i’m not sharing

 

 **Som:** whyyyyyy

 

 **Roly:** because you need to do your own damn homework for once

 

 **Som:** blocked and reported

 

 **Roly:** wait babe unblock me i gotta tell you something

 

 **Som:** unblocked

 

 **Roly:** bitch

 

 **Bonky:** you guys are ridiculous

 

 **Stove:** maybe if you actually paid attention in class you would know how to do the homework

 

 **Bonky:** oooof

  


**Som:** man does everyone hate me today???

 

 **Roly:** yes

 

 **Som:** fuck off

 

_______

 

**_Thruce_ **

_Friday, 9:14am_

 

_Thor Odinson: Thor_

_Bruce Banner: Bruce_

 

 **Thor:** A or B

 

 **Bruce:** what?

 

 **Thor:** pick one

 

 **Bruce:** uhhhhhh

 

 **Bruce:** A

 

 **Thor:** Thank god

 

 **Bruce:** oh my god what did i do

 

 **Thor:** Calm down!!

 

 **Thor:** Schmidt is letting us listen to music, and I couldn’t decide what I wanted to listen to. You picked Heathers, thankfully. I’m in a Heathers mood

 

 **Thor:** Granted I’m always in a Heathers mood lol

 

 **Bruce:** heather chandler could fuckin deck me and i would thank her for it

 

 **Thor:** saaaame

 

 **Thor:** More like JD could kill me and I would totally be okay with it

 

 **Bruce:** lmaoooo mood

 

 **Thor:** thanks for the help!

 

 **Bruce:** of course

 

_______

 

**_Science Bros_ **

_Friday, 9:31am_

 

_Tony Stark: whole(some) milk_

_Bruce Banner: buttermilk_

 

 **buttermilk:** [screenshot.png]

 

 **buttermilk:** TONY HE LIKES HEATHERS TOO

 

 **buttermilk:** i literally cant stop smiling???

 

 **whole(some) milk:** aww thats so cute

 

 **whole(some) milk:** my advice still stands once again

 

 **buttermilk:** n o

 

 **buttermilk:** since we’re talking boys

 

 **buttermilk:** hows your boytoy?

 

 **whole(some) milk:** fjfjajjf he's not my boytoy that sounds crude

 

 **buttermilk:** okay well how does fuckbuddy sound?

 

 **whole(some) milk:** bruce

 

 **buttermilk:** tony

 

 **whole(some) milk:** he's fine

 

 **whole(some) milk:** i think

 

 **whole(some) milk:** i mean idk. I dont talk to him outside of our hookups

 

 **buttermilk:** so no progress?

 

 **whole(some) milk:** no progress

 

 **whole(some) milk:** like theres no easy way to say “hey i know we’ve been fucking for the past two months but maybe you want to go on a date with me?”

 

 **whole(some) milk:** he made it very clear that he doesn’t want to be in a relationship

 

 **buttermilk:** im sorry

 

 **whole(some) milk:** its not your fault. theres nothing i can do about it so

 

 **whole(some) milk:** anyway

 

 **buttermilk:** anyway

 

 **buttermilk:** how are you holding up?

 

 **whole(some) milk:** why

 

 **buttermilk:** because steve found you at a park at one am drunk off your ass

 

 **buttermilk:** you dont have to tell me,,,, but like

 

 **buttermilk:** is hangover you doing okay?

 

 **whole(some) milk:** i have a killer headache

 

 **whole(some) milk:** but otherwise im ok

 

 **buttermilk:** you sure?

 

 **whole(some) milk:** yeah

 

 **whole(some) milk:** i stayed at steves last night. his mother is a literal angel i swear

 

 **whole(some) milk:** like

 

 **whole(some) milk:** she worked night shifts at a hospital, and she came home when we woke up, and like she saw me and kissed my forehead and told me good morning even though im pretty sure steve didnt tell her what happened. shes so sweet is2g

 

 **buttermilk:** awww

 

 **buttermilk:** ive never met her but like steve speaks so highly of her

 

 **buttermilk:** we stan

 

 **whole(some) milk:** yes we do

 

_______

 

**_Untitled Group Chat_ **

_Friday, 11:23am_

 

_Tony Stark: Tony_

_Stephen Strange: Stephen_

 

 **Tony:** hey are you doing anything after school

 

 **Stephen:** I’m going to the football game tonight, but otherwise no.

 

 **Stephen:** Why?

 

 **Tony:** do you want to come over

 

 **Stephen:** Why? We typically do that on Tuesday’s

 

 **Tony:** it doesn’t matter. if you dont want to then thats fine i just wanted to ask

 

 **Stephen:** I can come over. Can you drive me to game after?

 

 **Tony:** yes

 

 **Stephen:** Then pick me up after seventh hour

 

 **Tony:** okay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> cliffhanger?? i guess?? honestly idk idk
> 
> i hope you guys enjoyed! if you have any ideas on this fic, let me know on my twitter(stebe_rxgers) or on tumblr(stebe-rxgers) cause if you cant tell i dont have a plan lmao.


	5. Broken record

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> fooball, dennys, blossoming romance, and shirt stealing shenanigans

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow, its uh, been a while
> 
> its been like 5 months and im sorry but on the bright side, today was my last day of finals, which means i can write more! (who am i kidding, im awful at updating jfjfjf)
> 
> this has not been edited, so all mistakes are mine
> 
> Happy reading!!

**_s q u a d_ **

_ Friday, 12:08pm _

 

_ Tony Stark: Tony Stank _

_ Steve Rogers: americasuxlmao _

_ Thor Odinson: Queen _

_ Natasha Romanov: scaryrussianlady _

_ Clint Barton: bird _

_ Bruce Banner: Clarinet Bitch _

 

**Clarinet Bitch:** hey bitches whos going to the fooball game tonight

 

**bird:** fooball

 

**Clarinet Bitch:** shut up and answer the question

 

**americasuxlmao:** well me and thor 

 

**Clarinet Bitch:** duh

 

**Clarinet Bitch:** if the quarterback and captain didnt show up i would be worried

 

**bird:** i think laura and i are going together

 

**Tony Stank:** im going as long as i can sit with the band

 

**Clarinet Bitch:** of fucking course

 

**Clarinet Bitch:** the band is going to denny’s after the game if you guys want to join

 

**Queen:** Why Denny’s? The food there sucks ass

 

**Clarinet Bitch:** im feeling attACKED

 

**Clarinet Bitch:** but idk?? the band has been going there like forever

 

**Clarinet Bitch:** its just a dumb tradition at this point

 

**Tony Stank:** im down. i can give people rides if they need them

 

**scaryrussianlady:** im taking you up on that

 

**Tony Stank:** neat neat

 

**americasuxlmao:** can i invite someone as well? 

 

**Clarinet Bitch:** sure. like no one cares. as long as their not an asshole. but thats like half of the band so ,,,, lmao

 

**americasuxlmao:** alright thanks

 

**Clarinet Bitch:** just letting you know after games the band is a fuckin circus cause we’re so high on exhaustion lmao

 

**Tony Stank:** i can verify that. Its gr8 snapchat story material

 

**Clarinet Bitch:** s h u t  u p

 

**Tony Stank:** make me bitch

 

**Clarinet Bitch:** i will shove my enitre clarinet up your ass tony dont test me

 

**bird:** i love you guys so much jfjfjd

 

_______

 

**_BEST OF FRIENDS_ **

_ Friday, 12:35pm _

 

_ Peter Parker: THERES A SPIDER HELP  _

_ Ned Leeds: Chair Guy _

 

**THERES A SPIDER HELP:** ned 

 

**THERES A SPIDER HELP:** ned 

 

**THERES A SPIDER HELP:** ned 

 

**THERES A SPIDER HELP:** ned 

 

**THERES A SPIDER HELP:** ned 

 

**THERES A SPIDER HELP:** ned 

 

**THERES A SPIDER HELP:** ned  

 

**THERES A SPIDER HELP:** ned 

 

**THERES A SPIDER HELP:** ned 

 

**THERES A SPIDER HELP:** ned 

 

**Chair Guy:** w h a t

 

**THERES A SPIDER HELP:** omg

 

**THERES A SPIDER HELP:** im like 

 

**THERES A SPIDER HELP:** freaking out?

 

**Chair Guy:** why???

 

**Chair Guy:** are tou dying????

 

**THERES A SPIDER HELP:** no???

 

**THERES A SPIDER HELP:** so in chemistry michelle and i were lab partners

 

**THERES A SPIDER HELP:** and we were watching a video in class and she just. held my hand???

 

**THERES A SPIDER HELP:** she didnt say a n y t h i n g. like before and after she said nothing

 

**THERES A SPIDER HELP:** and idk how to bring it up because shes intimidating 

 

**Chair Guy:** omfg this is pure GOLD

 

**Chair Guy:** when you guys get married im mentioning this in my best man speech

 

**THERES A SPIDER HELP:** n e d 

 

**THERES A SPIDER HELP:** im literally having a crisis and youre mocking me

 

**Chair Guy:** my job as a best friend IS to mock you,,, so

 

**Chair Guy:** the next time you see her, grab her hand and just hold it and see if she does anything

 

**Chair Guy:** if she keeps holding your hand then you can make ya move

 

**THERES A SPIDER HELP:** youre a fucking genius i love you

 

**Chair Guy:** i know. i love me too

 

**Chair Guy:** r you going to dennys after the game

 

**THERES A SPIDER HELP:** if wade’s going then im going cause he's my ride

 

**THERES A SPIDER HELP:** but i should be

 

**Chair Guy:** damn i was gonna ask for a ride

 

**THERES A SPIDER HELP:** rip

 

**THERES A SPIDER HELP:** ummmmm i would say bruce but he doesnt have a car. you can prob ask wade, but if anything harass anyone who has a car and someone is bound to give you a ride tbh

 

**Chair Guy:** true true

__________

 

**_The McElroy Brothers_ **

_ Friday, 12:59pm _

 

_ Hela Odinson: The Eldest _

_ Thor Odinson: The Middlest _

_ Loki Odinson: The Baby _

 

**The Baby:** hey hey hey big sister can you call me out school

 

**The Eldest:** why would i do that for you??

 

**The Baby:** cause i dont want to be here??

 

**The Eldest:** bitch what the fuck thats not an excuse

 

**The Baby:** fine

 

**The Baby:** OH MY GOD H E L A I FEEL LIKE IM GONNA V O M I T ALL OVER THE FOOR CAN YOU BLEASE COME PICK ME UP

 

**The Eldest:** okay you big baby i’ll come get you. you better not puke in my car or i’ll boil all of your teeth

 

**The Middlest:** Seriously, that’s all it took?

 

**The Eldest:** he doesnt know it yet but he's gonna buy me mcdonalds for this bullshit so

 

**The Baby:** the fuck???

 

**The Eldest:** thats the price you pay for being a whiny bitch

 

**The Baby:** fair

 

**The Middlest:** This house is a fucking nightmare

 

**The Eldest:** you just now realized that??

 

**The Baby:** when is it not tho

__________

 

**_Science Bros_ **

_ Friday, 1:38pm _

 

_ Tony Stark: whole(some) milk _

_ Bruce Banner: buttermilk _

 

**whole(some) milk:** hey brucie

 

**whole(some) milk:** the love of my life

 

**whole(some) milk:** can you do me a favor?

 

**buttermilk:** yeah

 

**whole(some) milk:** can you please let me know what we do in english

 

**buttermilk:** yeah i can. you ditching?

 

**whole(some) milk:** you know me so well

 

**whole(some) milk:** i just,,, dont want to be there lmao

 

**buttermilk:** wait you dont have your car how are you getting home

 

**whole(some) milk:** im just gonna uber and then ill drive to the game later

 

**buttermilk:** alright ill send you the notes later

 

**whole(some) milk:** you are such a blessing ilysm

 

**buttermilk:** ily2

________

 

**_Untitled Group Chat_ **

_ Friday, 2:46pm _

 

_ Tony Stark: Tony _

_ Stephen Strange: Stephen _

 

**Tony:** beep beep

 

**Tony:** im in the student parking lot btw

 

**Stephen:** Alright, I’m on my way, give me a minute

 

________

 

**_s q u a d_ **

_ Friday, 4:12pm _

 

_ Tony Stark: Tony Stank _

_ Steve Rogers: americasuxlmao _

_ Thor Odinson: Queen _

_ Natasha Romanov: scaryrussianlady _

_ Clint Barton: bird _

_ Bruce Banner: Clarinet Bitch _

 

**bird:** hey hey do you guys want to see something rare

 

**Clarinet Bitch:** depends on your version of rare

 

**bird:** like,,, /rare/ rare

 

**bird:** (natty.jpg)

 

**Clarinet Bitch:** awwwwww nat you look so cute

 

**scaryrussianlady:** clint you said you deleted that

 

**bird:** well i lied

 

**bird:** you just look so happy i had to share it with the world

 

**Queen:** Natasha your smile could solve all of the world’s problems

 

**Clarinet Bitch:** whats the occurance that blessed us with this rare moment

 

**bird:** nat was talking to her girlfriend

 

**scaryrussianlady:** CLINT

 

**bird:** sorry guys gotta blast bruce write my obituary

 

**scaryrussianlady:** clint i know where you sleep

 

**bird:** i know that, obvi

 

**bird:** what are you gonna do, kill me???

 

**bird:** ive been wanting you to for years

 

**scaryrussianlady:** no your mom would kill me if i did that

 

**scaryrussianlady:** ill just move everything one inch to the left

 

**bird:** okay thats even worse i surrender

 

**Clarinet Bitch:** clint you have a weak resolve

 

**bird:** only around nat

 

**Clarinet Bitch:** okay thats fair

 

**scaryrussianlady:** you better

 

**bird:** nat i wouldnt have taken the picture if you wernt making love eyes at your girlfriend

 

**Clarinet Bitch:** girlfriend?

**scaryrussianlady:** CLINT

 

**bird:** gotta blast

________

 

**_Untitled Group Chat_ **

_ Friday, 6:02pm _

 

**Natasha Romanov added Tony Stark**

 

**Natasha:** you can still pick me up, right?

 

_ 6:11pm  _

 

**Natasha:** tony?

 

**Tony:** shit sorry i took a nap. send me your address and i’ll pick you up in like ten min or so

 

**Natasha:** Attachment: location

 

**Tony:** yeet yeet

 

**Tony:** im gonna grab some micky d’s before i head over, do you want anythign?

 

**Natasha:** just some fries

 

**Tony:** you sure? you dont want a meal or anything?

 

**Natasha:** yeah

 

**Tony:** alright im omw

 

______

**_Wizards of Waverly Place_ **

_ Friday, 6:27pm _

_ Wong: Beyoncé _

_ Stephen Strange: Master of Sarcasm _

**Master of Sarcasm:** I swear to god

**Master of Sarcasm:** I’m such a fucking IDIOT

**Beyoncé:** What did you do this time

**Master of Sarcasm:** Why why why WHY

**Master of Sarcasm:** Why am I so gay

**Beyoncé:** Okay, so what did Tony do this time?

**Master of Sarcasm:** We hooked up today before the football game and then we fell asleep at his place. I woke up before him and 

**Master of Sarcasm:** I might have

**Master of Sarcasm:** Stolen one of his shirts

**Beyoncé:** What the fuck Stephen

**Master of Sarcasm:** I DON’T KNOW

**Master of Sarcasm:** I just

**Master of Sarcasm:** You’re my impulse control, Wong. Ever since you left for college I’ve been making terrible decisions

**Master of Sarcasm:** You need to come back

**Beyoncé:** Don’t blame me for your awful life choices

**Beyoncé:** And you’re avoiding the topic at hand

**Beyoncé:** You took one of his shirts??

**Master of Sarcasm:** Ugh

**Master of Sarcasm:** Yes

**Master of Sarcasm:** I just

**Master of Sarcasm:** I was still half asleep, and I thought I was grabbing my shirt, and then I didn’t and I put his shirt on by accident and I just 

**Master of Sarcasm:** Never

**Master of Sarcasm:** Took it off

**Master of Sarcasm:** It was so soft and it smelled like him and I’m never giving it back

**Beyoncé:** Stephen, you’re so pathetic

**Master of Sarcasm:** Tell me something I don’t know

**Beyoncé:** Just tell him that you like him so that he can be your boyfriend and you can stop pining so much

**Master of Sarcasm:** You don’t understand how much I can’t do that 

**Master of Sarcasm:** I’m not ready for a relationship

**Beyoncé:** I get that, but you’ve had a crush on him for a while now. You may be more ready than you think you are

**Master of Sarcasm:** No, I’m not

**Beyoncé:** Alright, I won’t push. Just think about it, yeah?

**Master of Sarcasm:** Sure, whatever

**Master of Sarcasm:** He’s buying me dinner I swear to god I’m going to die in his car

**Beyoncé:** Broken record

______

**_s q u a d_ **

_ Friday, 6:45pm _

_ Tony Stark: Tony Stank _

_ Steve Rogers: americasuxlmao _

_ Thor Odinson: Queen _

_ Natasha Romanov: scaryrussianlady _

_ Clint Barton: bird _

_ Bruce Banner: Clarinet Bitch _

**Tony Stank:** (fooball.jpg)

**Tony Stank:** these warmups the players have to do are so stupid what the fuck

**Clarinet Bitch:** they do look really dumb

**Clarinet Bitch:** at least we get a good look at their asses

**scaryrussianlady:** what was that, bruce?

**Clarinet Bitch:** i said what i said

**Clarinet Bitch:** a s s e s

**scaryrussianlady:** bruce put your phone away and play your clarinet, i can hear mr lee yelling at you guys all the way across the stands

**Clarinet Bitch:** youre not my mom you cant control me

**scaryrussianlady:** play your instrument bruce

**scaryrussianlady:** good job

**Tony Stank:** what do you have fucking binoculars or something???

**scaryrussianlady:** no its just instinct

**bird:** look at stebe and thot

**bird:** we’re like proud moms

**bird:** you’re doing great sweeties

**Tony Stank:** stebe and thot

**scaryrussianlady:** stebe and thot

**Clarinet Bitch:** stebe and thot

**Tony Stank:** [youredoinggreatsweetie.jpg]

_ 9:19pm _

**Tony Stank:** RUN STEBE RUN

**Tony Stank:** YOU GOT THIS

**bird:** YEAH STEVBE

**Tony Stank:** WHOOHOO

**Tony Stank:** MARVEL HIGH STRIKES AGAIN

**Tony Stank:** DENNYS DENNYS DENNYS 

**Clarinet Bitch:** lets get this dennys

**Clarinet Bitch:** congrats on the win you two

**americasuxlmao:** thansk bruce

**Queen:** Thank you Bruce!

**americasuxlmao:** dennys?

**Clarinet Bitch:** ofc 

**americasuxlmao:** see ya there

**bird:** later skaters

______

**_its free real estate:_ **

_ Friday, 9:27pm _

_ Steve Rogers: ohcaptainmycaptain _

_ Bucky Barnes: buckarooooooo _

**buckarooooooo:** congrats on your win stevie

**ohcaptainmycaptain:** thanks babe :)

**ohcaptainmycaptain:** you still coming to dennys?

**ohcaptainmycaptain:** if you dont want to i can jsut take you home

**buckarooooooo:** no i wanna go

**buckarooooooo:** as long as youre paying

**ohcaptainmycaptain:** ://///

**buckarooooooo:** :))))))

**ohcaptainmycaptain:** fiiiiiiine 

**buckarooooooo:** im waiting by your car

**ohcaptainmycaptain:** im almost done, walking out of the locker room soon

**ohcaptainmycaptain:** maybe if thor stops stops t a l k i n g so much

**ohcaptainmycaptain:** i love you

**buckarooooooo:** get out here and tell me in person

______

**_s q u a d_ **

_ Saturday, 12:07am _

_ Tony Stark: Tony Stank _

_ Steve Rogers: americasuxlmao _

_ Thor Odinson: Queen _

_ Natasha Romanov: scaryrussianlady _

_ Clint Barton: bird _

_ Bruce Banner: Clarinet Bitch _

**Tony Stank:** clint i cant belive you got us kicked out of the dennys

**bird:** to be fair you said that i wouldnt do it

**Tony Stank:** yeah but that didnt mean you actually had to do it

**Clarinet Bitch:** the band has been going to that dennys for literal YEARS 

**Clarinet Bitch:** i cant believe 

**scaryrussianlady:** i can

**scaryrussianlady:** clint has jumped on tables before this isnt new

**Tony Stank:** STILL

**Clarinet Bitch:** go home losers

**Clarinet Bitch:** see ya tomorrow

**Tony Stank:** my house. noon. be there or be square

_______

**_Thruce_ **

_ Saturday 12:35am _

_ Thor Odinson: Thor _

_ Bruce Banner: Bruce _

**Thor:** That was wild

**Bruce:** yes it was 

**Bruce:** dennys brings out the worst in everyone sksks

**Thor:** Hey, can I ask you something?

**Bruce:** sure

**Thor:** Do you wanna hang out after the group project tomorrow?

**Thor:** Well, today lol

**Bruce:** uh sure im down

**Bruce:** your place?

**Thor:** Yes, I can drive you afterwards. Is that okay?

**Bruce:** yeah i would appreciate that

**Thor:** The band sounded amazing, by the way

**Bruce:** thank youuu

**Bruce:** im gonna go to bed its been a long fucking day

**Thor:** Goodnight Bruce :)

**Bruce:** goodnight thor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tag yourself im stephen lmao
> 
> i hope you guys enjoyed! if you have any ideas on this fic, let me know on my twitter(stebe_rxgers) or on tumblr(stebe-rxgers) cause if you cant tell i dont have a plan lmao.


End file.
